Cultivating the “No, but” response

If you’re a leader in business, you know that people come to you with ideas all the time. Some of them you love, some you like ok, and some you just plain old don’t like. What do you usually say to your employees when you don’t like one? 

I’m betting it usually goes something like this. “Yes, that’s a good idea, but here’s why I don’t think it would work.” Fine. That’s reasonable. In a separate article I will go into more depth as to why you might respond that way. But for now, suffice it to say that whoever suggested the idea understands your concerns, and off they go about their day. Maybe they go work on the idea, but more likely, they add it to a growing list of reasons why they probably shouldn’t be creative, vulnerable, or take risks with you as their boss.

Why is that? It’s simple. Our ideas are an extension of ourselves. Whether we like to admit it or not, our fragile (yes, we are fragile) egos get dinged when our ideas get dinged. You are essentially rejecting a part of us. We internalize, usually subconsciously, messages of both inadequacy and mistrust. We tell ourselves that our ideas are no good and that we probably shouldn’t bring our ideas to you because you will too often shut us down. We’ll just stay in our safe zone and plod along like good soldiers. 

So what could you do instead? Try cultivating the “No, but…” response. When someone comes to you with an idea, stop, reflect for an honest moment or two, and if you aren’t going to implement the idea as is, say, “No, that wouldn’t work, but here’s what I like about the idea.” You can’t fake this; you really have to like that bit of the idea. Aha! Now you’re talking! The other person stands a little taller and thinks, “Hey, the boss sees some value in my idea.” Your employee’s ego skips out of your office unbruised, its owner more willing to tailor the idea and come back to see if it’s more to your liking. And then you may be off and running with a new solution.

You see, when you cultivate the “No, but” response, you’re telling your employee, “I see you. I take you seriously. I think you’re smart. I appreciate your creativity and innovation. I find value in your ideas, and therefore, I find value in you. I value risk taking and creative thinking in this company.” 

What do you get from it? You get employees that have the space to actually BE creative. You get fresh ideas from people. You get camaraderie and connection. You get trust and synergy. You get employees who love working for you.